


Joe Rogan Experience #1070 - Lord Voldemort

by galatea_and_acis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Apple Cider Vinegar, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:42:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29401434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galatea_and_acis/pseuds/galatea_and_acis
Summary: Joe Rogan interviews Lord Voldemort about his experience withthe carnivore dietthe Dark Arts.
Relationships: Severus Snape & Voldemort, Severus Snape/Voldemort, Voldemort & Joe Rogan
Kudos: 11





	Joe Rogan Experience #1070 - Lord Voldemort

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend Soucouyant.
> 
> Context: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPof3taFRto

**VOLDEMORT** :

Well, I have a negative story, okay, okay. One of the things that both Severus and I noticed when we used Dark Arts and then came in contact with something we weren't supposed to, the reaction to coming in contact with what we weren't supposed to was absolutely catastrophic.

**JOE ROGAN:**

What did you come in contact with?

**VOLDEMORT:**

Um, well the worst response, I think we're allergic to, or whatever the hell this is, having an inflammatory response to something called Love, and I went to kill a muggleborn and that was really not good, like, I was done for thirteen years. That was the first time I talked to Quirrell.

  
**JOE:**

You were done for _thirteen_ years?

**VOLDEMORT**

Oh yeah it took me out for thirteen years it was awful, real, yeah, yeah.

**JOE**

This is right until this whole possession conversation with Quirrell that got stuck in the mud.

**VOLDEMORT**

Yeah, yeah, it was. I think the day I talked to Quirrell was like the worst day of my life — not because of talking to Quirrell, but it was —

**JOE:**

Just physically?

**VOLDEMORT:**

Jesus I was so dead but I didn't want to not do it.

**JOE:**

A muggleborn? But what was she doing —

**VOLDEMORT:**

It's the Love.

**JOE**

What was the love doing to you?

**VOLDEMORT:**

Oh, it produced an overwhelming sense of impending doom, and it was seriously overwhelming, like, there's no way I could have lived like that if that would have lasted for — see Severus knew by that point that it would probably only last thirteen years, and I was like —

**JOE:**

Thirteen years?

**VOLDEMORT:**

Yeah.

**JOE**

From Love?

**VOLDEMORT**

Yeah, well, I didn't sleep those thirteen years, I didn't sleep for four thousand seven hundred and forty five days, I didn't sleep at all.

**JOE**

You didn’t sleep at all for four thousand seven hundred and forty five days, how is that possible? 

**VOLDEMORT**

I'll tell you how it's possible, you lay in a forest bed in Albania frozen in something approximating terror for eight hours and then you get up.

**JOE**

And this is from Lily Evans??

**VOLDEMORT**

Yeah I mean, look, again, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, this is all a mystery to me.

  
  
  
  



End file.
